Why Savasana is my word for 2020.
Towards the end of 2019, I was prompted to think about what my word for 2020 is going to be. The first word that popped in my head was “alegría” which means joy in Spanish. Classic.
This is my all-time favorite word, not just because of what it means, but also because of how it sounds. I love its melody. You need to pronounce it correctly though, stressing on the “i”, ergo the diacritical mark or “accent”. Those of you who know me, a bit more than just a casual acquaintance, know how meticulous (okay obsessed) I am when it comes to this tiny mark above certain letters. But that’s another story for another day.
Then I said to myself, give it some more thought José, don’t give in to your impulses. Thirty seconds later, I had made up my mind: my word for 2020 is going to be “savasana”.
“You also don’t want to overthink it”, she whispered to herself.
For those of you who are not familiar with the term, savasana is a yoga pose that is usually (but not exclusively) done at the end of the class. It’s the final resting pose where practitioners are prompted by the teacher to lay down on their backs, close their eyes and just relax. Easy peasy, right? Think again.
It was impossible for me to do that. My mind was always wandering away towards past or future events: “ I should have bent my knees more in warrior 2”, “I should not have said that to that girl in the office”, “oh my God, after this I’ll have to sit in meditation with my tomato red face, frizzy hair and sweaty body”. You get the picture.
So I open my eyes, and I clench my jaw and I.don’t. sit. still.
Yoga teachers argue that it’s vital to end every practice with a few minutes of savasana, some arguments are nevertheless more convincing than others.
One argument or explanation resonated a lot with me (resonance! Another word I love) because it spoke to my rational, pragmatic mind.
The teacher asked us to imagine that our yoga practice is a mobile app that we constantly use. Savasana is to our practice what an upgrade is to our mobile app. Light bulb moment!
At the end of each practice, we savasana to save and upgrade all the effort that we’ve just exerted.
“Of course I want my practice to become better, so I’ll shut my eyes and I will sit still if you say this would help”. And it did help. I was getting better, but something was still missing: the heart component!
I don’t know if you noticed but a few sentences ago, I used savasana as a verb, an action!
Something I also learned from one of my teachers is that savasana is not a passive pose, what we do during savasna is an “active surrender”.
Another light bulb moment. Heart component check!
Now the puzzle is completed and it makes perfect sense. I understand why it was so hard for me to savasana.
I cannot surrender, I cannot let go, my relentless mind combined with my delicate (not weak) heart cannot not analyze or think or come up with explanations, or scenarios, or a list of should and should not haves.
Let’s now take the concept of savasana beyond the physical yoga practice and into our day to day life, shall we?
I’m not sure about you but I personally find it very difficult to accept the notion of surrender. In my mind, surrendering has a very negative connotation. It is associated with failure, giving up, having no willpower, and being a loser. When an army surrenders at war, a whole nation will crumble under tyranny. Why would you want to let the Hitlers of the world rule again?!
Dramatic much? Bear with me.
I don’t know if it’s a millennial or a gender thing, cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions, or because I was raised by parents whose lives were deeply infected and affected by long years of war, destruction and under achievement (probably a lethal mix of all the previously stated), but I’ve always been wired to reject the notion of slowing down, taking a break, let alone actively choosing to surrender!
So I keep going. I don’t stop. It doesn’t matter if I’m exhausted or emotionally drained. I’m a strong young woman, there’s nothing I cannot do. It doesn’t matter if I’m sad or heartbroken, I should not show signs of weakness, release my grip or lose control.
Luckily, my physical body got the best of me and started giving me serious warning signs. My inner wisdom decided to resurface and with the help of my yoga practice I started seeing things differently. I gradually started learning to let go: of anything that is no longer bringing me life, of the need to have full control over any situation, of the futile pursuit of perfection and of the idea that surrender means failure.
With that newly found freedom and the ever existing inner wisdom I discovered another meaning of surrender.
It is in no way an invitation to not do anything or become complacent. It is not a call to become passive, helpless creatures. It is not giving up, and it is not the end.
Going back to the idea of upgrading the app, our practice and our life. We cannot upgrade zero effort. The very notion of upgrading means that something has to be there in the first place and we simply take it to the next level.
So I don’t sit back, relax and expect a miraculous shift to happen. I go in with all my heart, and I give it my very (personal) best. Because let’s face it, as much as you upgrade a half-ass effort, as much as you stretch a half-ass relationship, it will always remain half-ass, incomplete, not you, nor for you.
To surrender is to simply let go of the need to control the outcome of every action or situation. It is opening our life up to a power greater than our own, a power that is able to do for us far more than we are able to do for ourselves. It is giving in, it is receiving, it is the beginning.
So what is it that you cannot surrender? A partner you no longer love? A job that is not helping you grow? Friendships that are draining you? An addiction? A toxic narrative that you keep repeating to yourself?
Whatever it is, surrender it to a Higher Power, a Higher Love, another Light.
Let it go, safe in the knowledge that there’s always a tomorrow, another chance to try again and give it your (personal) best shot.
